In a uncontested election I have become the next (and first) mayor of Woodland Hills California, United States of America.

It was basically a landslide, there was about 9 “likes” on facebook, so it was a pretty done deal from there on out. The Hollywood sign used to say “Hollywoodland” in 1923 but there was a land slide and the land part of the sign slid down in a landslide. It was kind of like that, a strange ironic mess.

Pretty sure being a leader in the corporate world for over a decade (Farcical Enterprises 2001-2011 CEO) gave me the edge.

Sales of rakes at the local Home Depot on Variel Avenue are going to sky-rocket. People are going to have physically move natural debris from sidewalks and driveways with a non-motorized tool. There is going to be leaves and stuff in a small area in front of you, in Woodland Hills now, you gotta push em’ out of your way without an engine.    

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If you have any questions about concerns that lead to more questions please call me at my remote office: Rocco’s Tacos 

          5250 Town Center Cir
          Boca Raton, FL 33486

          (561) 416-2131

I really appreciate the support. 

 

I’m not sure there is a mayor of Woodland Hillls, CA, but I know that I am either the first or the next. This is my official release, Brian James Griffo, mayor. I plan to use it as a stepping stone to increasingly higher political positions where I will bring about change.

Platform: All the things Obama was supposed to do, in short. Specifically, end discrimation of any minority group, racial, economic, sexual, or otherwise.

Take a page from Ron Paul and end programs that don’t work. Fairly tax the wealthy while appreciating success and not punishing it. Fairly tax lower bracket wage earners in a way that dosen’t significantly change quality of life.

Export ideation, design, entertainment. Import basic goods. We are past the assembly line days, let’s do what we do best, innovate.

Oil: Dead. Shift all capital on energy indepence, completely and honestly. Harness renewable resources for energy, base headquarters in Detroit, let the rest of the world desire a new Chrysler 300 like it was a new iPad.

Science and education: Becomes paramount. Boost local students and open immigration to proven minds.

Drugs: Decriminalize substances that are mainly non addictive and mind expanding. Free prisons and tax dollars that support them. Stay tough on the blue meth and brain rotting material. Focus on rehabilitating centers, end prisons.

Borders are just lines: Respect Canada and work fairly with Mexico. The US should be humble and think more about North America than the USA specifically.

Military: Invest the same treasure only within our own borders. Let go of foreign quagmires and build a strong military that protects the homeland and works with local communities to “self nation build” in times of peace.

Law: Based in logic and not technicality. If it looks like a pig, smells like a pig, it’s a damn pig. Call it like you would on the schoolyard. No more getting off on a technicality.

Wireless internet access provided free as a basic utility. Let information flow, be a transparent government, let people become what they may with basic technology as tool.

Progress through direction: the two party system keeps only the middle of the rope visable in this tug of war when the solution can exist at either end. As ideologically apart our isle is, the truth is, either side getting the rope in one direction would be better than this grey area push/pull gridlock nothing gets done majority minority mess of a filibuster. With our new direction everyone with a good idea that can logically improve our society gets to prove it. The hope is our courts shift to this, democracy by voting in the listening panel.

The constitution, still a pretty good idea. Adapt, not destroy.

I realize these are some pretty large stances for being just a mayor of a Los Angeles suburb but, might as well explain some big general ideation before I need to figure out how to make traffic lights smarter around the corner.

I need your vote. Let’s please just fix everything we can as soon as we can.

Sincerely,

Your new mayor of Woodland Hills California,

Brian James Griffo

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